This town looks good from above

[Queen of Rain]

This town looks so nice from above

We loved each other
those nights when we couldn’t see the sky
for all the stars and your eyes
in the time between
dreaming and living dreams
I know I loved those nights
We lived for the stars and clouds
but we need to move on
This town looks so nice from above
but it seems to me now
that we have landed


hmm maybe this is better as this is what i wanna say and not the blabby first lines.. what do u guys think?

[ScarletMornings]

i kinda see what you mean. it's a really good idea, and the title is really catchy, but it just seems like it is missing something. maybe if you talk more about the town, or what it actually looks like from above?!?!?!? i don't know, i'm horrible at these kind of things. you should probably ignore me.

[Queen of Rain]

no your comment makes sense, because the title so came to me and i felt o i wanna write sth about how we have landed and how beautiful it was... but yes.. i mean its missing sth that the title promises...

[Queen of Rain]

Revised..

[Pseudomuse]

bittersweet...and I can feel the emotion you put in this piece. great job.

PM

[ScarletMornings]

if i had thought of that title and that idea, i wouldn't have written this way. but, I really love how you wrote it, and i think you did an excellent job revising. it fits more now. it just seems. . . right. wonderful.

[Queen of Rain]

thanx guys..