worth it

[foxyvolleyballchic]

An oppertunaty appeared
a plan was thought
her incentive was clear
her life before forgot

She took everything from me
her old life was lost
she stole my identity
her best friend was the cost

Misery and deciet
a life you stole away
betrayal and defeat
a price you should have to pay

backstabbing and suduction
your life only brought pain
you didnt know you imitation
you took everything there was to gain

you did all this to get your way
your lies werent legit
you should have to pay
but your not worth it!

Foxy- I hope u like this. This is my first dark poem. I live off of feadback so please if u have ne thing, tell me!

[Queen of Rain]

i liked the fact that you ahve realised one ca write dark poems without being all cliche about tears and sucide... i like your poem but I think you could elaborate you symbols mroe and check grammar, ok poems doesnt need to be correct, but then it shold be a point with the incorrectness... theme of poem is great and u feel anger which is great!

[foxyvolleyballchic]

thanks very much. Im not very ggod in English. I can't spell either. Im workin on it though! If u have ne more suggestions please tell me!

[Ramona]

It was good because it was a dark poem that wasn't all about suicide and cutters, I think you could change the last stanza around a bit, though.

[foxyvolleyballchic]

How would I change it around. I couldnt figure out how 2 end it but I ended up liking the final message. In the beggining it was a revenge poem but I final got over it and ended it that way.

[roxiecheerchika]

I liked it alot...me being a big fan and writer of dark poems i really connected with it. I thought it expressed alot of emotion about something, but wut was it talking about? Someone new taking away all the things u hold dear or u changing ur ways?

[foxyvolleyballchic]

It was about sum1 who bcame friends w/ sum 1 2 become just like them. They took over there life and stole everything from them. Its about revenge but in the end I decided she wasnt worth it.

[roxiecheerchika]

Ohhh....that makes sense....well I really like it...You should definately write more like it.