Ballade of a Fencing Duel

[skinowkoko]

(I wasn't sure where exactly to post this, so I'll put it here, too...It's based on the one from "Cyrano de Bergerac." He duels as viscount while improvising a ballade, at the end of which, he'll strike his opponent)

Ballade of a Fencing Duel
Between de Bergerac and Viscount Mule

Before I start, I strip my pate
And shed my cape askew,
Revealing courage beaming great--
A lion through and through.
My steel as cool as morning dew
Seeks blood upon its pike.
But patience! It will not have you;
It's at the end I strike.

So come, you slug, and match my gait;
Ensnare me in your glue;
Entice me with your blade as bait,
And I will seize the cue!
That motion will you quickly rue!
Your death comes nigh now--psych!
For though I want your blood to spew,
It's at the end I strike.

To hit my mark, I'm never late,
Attacking when I'm due.
Your temple will I desecrate
In a theatre coup.
But now I rest upon the pew
And pray your death, belike,
Will end your lordship's yuppie flu
When at the end I strike.

The envoy:
I've left you in your juice to stew--
The stench I do not like,
So take a taste of metal brew!
It's now the end: I strike!

[Queen of Rain]

amazing language you've got there! i like it but feels like you should perpahs bring in more point of views into it, it would make the poem so much More Existing if it showed the inner struggle in the hero..

[skinowkoko]

Hm...that could be fun. I'm not sure, though...Because he is improvising this while dueling in front of a crowd. I'm not sure if he would care to reveal his inner struggle, but for my version of it, it could be an interesting addition. Thanks

[ScarletMornings]

i liked it. not enough ballads in my opinion, especially over interesting stuff like a duel. good job.

[ScarletMornings]

okay, actually i think it was a great job. anyways.