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Post by Pseudomuse on Mar 18, 2005 10:16:48 GMT -8
i finished it, i hope the theme is more understandable.. PM
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the color of magic
mauve strings tug at my dazed limbs coercing me to move, one agitated jolt at a time i feel like i left marathon, sprinting the 26 miles in greekswelter to find you pronouncing my winnings, languidlists at you feet you’re mauve in the moonlight mostly entwining your pathways with mine until we are one, a mountolympius of sorts and this isn’t the first time i’ve questioned if it’s the first time like phoenixes in the dazzling dew we burn ashes to ashes, dust to dust only then to arise fledging to thisnewworld hapless and blind to once rigged past facets that are too many lifetimes spent caged still you caress me and coddled me as if these were first times and i never felt soft skin, abradedmauve in my veins and i bleed black in secrecy that only you see in the lepercy of my veins i’m Echo and you’re my Narcissus for I mirror you as black meshes with mauve, and my soul echoes your wishes in this homeostasis that we breed for you’re taking me over and i’m breathless, as you filtered my memories like Hades lording of Lethe; the purger of lostlives mauve energy strings out from your tapered fingers scandalizing parts of me with tingling remembrances you are my solace, you are my balm you are my palate and this is the color of magic
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Post by Queen of Rain on Mar 18, 2005 11:18:07 GMT -8
impressive imagery with amazing unity, diction the same... hwoever i feel that the theme is very hard to detect! your poem really cathces the reader by its amazingness, however it feels like you start at one point and end at another when it comes to theme... perhaps its just me that doesnt understand all of ur synonyms i dont know, its really sad tho cos i looove ur imagery and diction so much..
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Post by Pseudomuse on Mar 18, 2005 22:41:34 GMT -8
yeah, i know it is kind of confusing i hope the finished product is easier to understand, thanks so much queen of rain for the nota, muchas gracias!
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Post by Queen of Rain on Mar 19, 2005 1:58:46 GMT -8
its sickly beuatiful but i stil cant pinpont the themes...
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Post by Pseudomuse on Mar 19, 2005 17:48:33 GMT -8
thanks you soo soo much, what i was trying to get across was submission and relationship and things like that. thanks again. actually the title and the last line were based off of Terry Pratchett's book The Color of Magic, the first book of the Discworld universe
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