Closer

[Queen of Rain]

Closer

Lick me up
Since I have melted
Snow in April
No coldness holds my heart
No more
I only want your body closer
Move, move, come jovial heat
Breath
Taste my eager
I don’t want to ignore
The emotions that fills
My tears
Kiss them salty of my cheeks
Tell me I do right
When I let you come close


This poem so misses something.. if i so could figure out what...

[frontpagenews]

Hmm maybe try working on rythm a bit, use synoms and maybe mix up the structure of the poem and of the lines, invert words be creative, and more imagery hasnt hurt anybody as far as I know. But I like it I love the feeling it gives off. Very nice