Without You!!!

[lilgreendude]

I sit around waiting for you
My heart starts beating
I fall to the ground
I am surrounded by darkness
Without you
When you smile the light appears
When you luagh you take away all my tears

But Without You!!!
I am all alone
I stare at my wall
wishing you were home
Without You!!!
I can't breathe
I'm walking on thin water
I fall asleep
permently

I sit alone on my bed
waiting for your call
When you do
I here other voices
I start to cry
My breathing gets slower
my heart pumps to fast
I fall across my bed
Looking through the past

But Without You!!!
I am all alone
I stare at my wall
wishing you were home
Without You!!!
I can't breathe
I'm walking on thin water
I fall asleep
permently

I think you listen
but your realy not
I hear your voice
but just then my heart stopped
you stared into my eyes
and leaned close in
and said ,
It's over....

But Without You!!!
I am all alone
I stare at my wall
wishing you were home
Without You!!!
I can't breathe
I'm walking on thin water
I fall asleep
permently

I thought you loved me
But I guess not.

[Ramona]

It was a pretty good song, except for the ending. IT kind of didn't fit with the rest. But, overall, it was alright.

[ciel]

I bet to music it'd be even better than it already is.
The lyrics really capture the heartbreak well.

"I thought you loved me
But I guess not."

Those lines ring of a sense of forced closure. Appropriate IMO.

[frontpagenews]

I think they are very good lyrics, however I have to go with Afro on this one the ending seems to be a bit off. Work on that a bit and the song will be even better. Nice job

[usgeisha]

I liked it--I agree with Sam & Afro about the ending. Also, "thin water"? Do you mean "thin ice"? Or is that just a phrase I don't know??? Good though.