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Post by behindTHEmask on Jan 19, 2005 13:44:26 GMT -8
Their speaking to you. He raised his eyebrows, hearing John's voice. "Last name?" (I don't know if you want me to know him or not.) A lot of people were named Cameron. Well, not a lot, but enough to need a last name. His shoulders relaxed a little, hearing someone talk. Silence was uncomfortable. He prefered the loud streets, where you could hear anything coming. Silence was amiss. Everyone was a quiet-aphobic. It was heaven in a bottle, or at least in a small city alley. Whichever you prefer.
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Post by Sparks on Jan 19, 2005 13:55:55 GMT -8
(I don't know If you know him, you know him. I'm not going to tell you which was to make this go...haha.) "Adams." John sounded like he was getting a bit excited. In his usual, slightly loud, stricken way. "There's something about him that looks like you. I don't know, exactly, but...Carolyn, can you see it?" She could. She admitted it. "What is it? God, this is driving me nuts." Carolyn offered her opinion, for what it was worth. "It's his eyes." A look of understanding dawned on John's face. The excitement trapped beneath his own eyes backed off abruptly, and he looked closely at Matt. "She's right," he said to Matt. "God, that's weird."
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Post by behindTHEmask on Jan 19, 2005 14:15:37 GMT -8
((This will be interesting. I think...))
He mouthed the words "Cameron Adams" into the open air. The sound didn't follow, but he wasn't doig it for them. It rolled off his tongue perfectly, like he said it before. Like he spoke it frequently. Like he yelled it. Cried it. Slept it. He looked into the rearview mirror at his reflection, at his eyes, then back at the road. Cameron Adams. His fingers tapped along the steering wheel. Thump. Cameron. Thump. Adams. He knew him. He was related, but he was trying to forget. Forget the past. Focus on the present. Maybe this was someone else. "Tell me a bit about him." We'll see.
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Post by Sparks on Jan 20, 2005 18:35:22 GMT -8
Carolyn and John locked eyes for a moment, and she knew that she was supposed to talk. She'd known Cameron longer, to start - they'd been closer than siblings. "The Cameron I knew went by Adams, sometimes... had thick dark hair and blue eyes, like you. That's why you look related." John decided he needed to go beyond the looks of the boy. "He was a quick kid. Smart, but not academically as much as socially...he was aware. Knew his bit about the world and was becoming sort of a political activist." He seemed to think for a moment, then went on. "He had this necklace, chain, whatever you wanna call it, that he always wore. Had these crossed golden drumsticks." "He played drums, and he was great at it," Carolyn offered. "He was." Carolyn waited for a minute, and every moment of the night was coming into clear detail. And the headlines from the past fused with the inevitable headlines from the future. "He's dead now," she said slowly, careful to watch Matt's expession in the mirror. His eyes remained steady, so she went on. "Stoned or something after a party one night a couple years ago... he was just having fun, and he decided to walk home. In the dark, he realized it was too far and took a short cut through a golf course." She felt John's eyes on her. "He must have passed out or decided to sleep off the high before continuing home, so he laid down on the grass and closed his eyes. "Next thing you know, it's in the Saturday paper that he's been found run over in the golf course by some kids in their parents' car, who decided to joyride around the golf course that night." She stopped, looking down at her hands. She was alive. Some of them weren't. It was just the way it was. "It's one of those sick, ironic stories that tears you up everytime you think about it," she said, suddenly quiet. Up front, John nodded. "We used to play together sometimes. Me with my bass, and him with his drum set," John added. They had created some good music, back in those days.
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Post by behindTHEmask on Jan 20, 2005 19:11:33 GMT -8
His eyes shifted, then he blinked. Silent tears. He mouthed the name Adams again. This time, even in silence, he choked on the name. He owned the necklace, now. (If that's okay by you of course.) Kept it around his neck, hidded beneath his shirt. Matt himself couldn't keep a beat on the drums, but Cameron, he was amazing. He just stuck to guitar. His little guitar. He didn't say anything as the spoke about Cameron. It sounded as though the two were quite fond of the boy. Everyone was. Death struck hard. Two deaths in just a few years. Happens to everyone, doesn't it? "Yeah." The words came out in bits. "I know him."
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Post by Sparks on Jan 21, 2005 13:07:08 GMT -8
Carolyn's most vivid recollection of him resurfaced. She could remember Cameron banging on his desk in eighth grade Geography, years ago, when the other kids were watching "Journey into Child Labour". "Cameron, stop," the teacher said, aiming him one of her infamous looks. He smiled at her and went right on tapping, free like he always was. Always would be. "I'm planning on being in a band some day, ma'am." "Cameron," she warned, "Right now." "We'll call ourselves..." his eyes landed on the book on his partner's desk. "The New Pocket French and English Dictionaries." "Go to the office." He'd had that classic sense of humour. Carolyn had always admired it. He'd helped her out of a lot of rough places. Tight squeezes, awkward positions. He had been her saving grace for a couple of years there, like he was the brother she'd always wanted. But he had been dead for a couple of years, too, and they'd all moved on. She flashed back into the station wagon. This is gonna be one hell of a ride. She looked at Matt. She could see his eyes, round and glinting in the sun like crystals. She'd wanted blue eyes her entire life, but suddenly she thought that maybe they condemned you. Maybe it was God's way of getting even with the beauty. As he said, "I know him," a couple of things ran through her mind. First, she thought they must have been brothers. But Cameron had lived in the small, virtually unknown Port Royal for a very long time. She suddenly wasn't sure, and very much wanted to know.
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Post by behindTHEmask on Jan 21, 2005 16:35:17 GMT -8
"We weren't brothers or anything." He blinked, remembering what they were. "Almost, but not quite. Cousins, yet a bit more." He shrugged, turning the wheel. "I looked up to the kid. Not so much as him being younger/older. Just him as a person, you know?" He sighed a bit, licking his upper lip. Do you think they saw the same Cameron? Of course. Everyone saw the same Cameron. Right? "I own the necklace now." Taking one hand off the wheel, he reached into his shirt, laying it out onto his chest.
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Post by Sparks on Jan 22, 2005 14:26:18 GMT -8
There was a heavy thumping in Carolyn's chest when Matt pulled the necklace out from under his shirt. The drumsticks. The pounding of a bass drum faded. "You should be famous," she laughed. Cameron's eyes twinkled. "I will be." He pulled out the chain and the small, thin, golden drumsticks that were crossed on it. Smiling lightly, he let it dangle around his neck. "When I'm famous, and this is worth, millions, you can say you were my closest friend." "I'd say you're my brother," she said with a warm smile of her own, and a push of his shoulder. "Come on, let's get out of here." There it was. Glinting in the sunlight like it always used to. Crossed drumsticks. Carolyn could hear the drums cracking like gunshots under his rhythm. She looked up into Matt's eyes. For a moment, she could have sworn it was Cameron staring back at her. She would have bet her life on it. But after she blinked, she saw the tragedy and sorrow trapped there. She could see the dangerous past. It never would be Cameron. He didn't believe in tragdies. "If you weren't brothers, what were you?" she asked. John, up front, was gazing at the gold like he didn't quite believe it. He glanced over at Carolyn, and then rubbed his face with his hands. "I don't fucking believe it..."
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Post by behindTHEmask on Jan 22, 2005 18:48:21 GMT -8
Matt shook his head. "Cousins, or maye more. I don't remember anymore. Time flew by. I've been trying to forget." He couldn't forget, but he tried. His parents couldn't understand why. Cameron was a great kid. But that's why he has to let it go. Matt lost Cameron. Matt lost Jake. He lost everyone he was ever close to. Everyone he ever told a secret to, took it to their grave, but not by choice. Jake and Cameron both lost their lives long before they were supposed to. Matt would trade his right now just to save them. If only he could save them.
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Post by Sparks on Jan 23, 2005 7:36:29 GMT -8
Carolyn looked down on her hands. There were no wrinkles there. She felt lucky to be alive. They were entering the city. Driving more slowly than before. She thought about all the times she'd spent with kids that had died. This would be three funerals in one month. It would be four funerals in four years of highschool. For every year she lived, one of her friends got taken away. What did living mean? In the end, what did it matter? When you die, you die. It's always the same. She saw the tortured life in Matt's eyes. She could see the dull fear in John's. What did hers tell the world? She'd worked many years to make sure that nobody could tell what she was going through inside. It wasn't safe to trust people with information like that. Cameron had been able to see her for what she was, but that was because he'd been different. Carolyn looked at Matt. "It's okay to remember, sometimes." But she knew she would be cursing herself for saying it, later. She knew she'd be trying hard to forget Jacob, Cody and Lauren. She'd be drinking herself to sleep to forget about them. John cut in. "What are the chances of this happening?" Carolyn glanced over at him, surprised to see his face unreadable, but full of expression. "What are the fucking chances? The one kid we knew that died in the worst way possible is related to the guy that drives us to the hospital to check up on the dead bodies of three kids that we've known forever. Including my brother." He gestured madly with his hands. "What are the fucking chances, that you're the only guy in the family with the same eyes, and you got the golden sticks when your cousin died? Who decided to make you run into us in the middle of no-fucking-where, when we get in a crash, and are almost dead, ourselves? What a fucking coincidence." He wasn't being sarcastic. When John got confused or frustrated, he released it in the strangest ways. Carolyn had seen it happen in her Calculus class the year before. John was great at math, so he was taking the course a year ahead. He was smart, but quiet. And he swore a lot when he got angry. She looked out the window as John rested his head in his hands. One day had taken a colossal toll on all of them. She wondered where they could possibly go, from here.
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Post by behindTHEmask on Jan 23, 2005 9:18:37 GMT -8
Matt looked at him. "I had the life everyone wanted from the outside--great rich parents, all the systems, two of my own cars I didn't pay a penny on. I needed to get out. It was just luck. And for being related to Cameron and getting the drumsticks..." He shrugged. Now he was just pulling shit out of his ass. Now he was just bullshitting himself. "I don't know. Maybe somethings in life are just supposed to happen." Blinking again, he licked his upper lip. Habit. "Everything's got its reasons." Right? Yes. Everything has its reasons for happening.
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Post by taliesin on Jan 24, 2005 5:35:48 GMT -8
Craig's finger twitched.
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Post by taliesin on Jan 24, 2005 5:36:13 GMT -8
(Sorry, I don't know what else to put. ;D)
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Post by Sparks on Jan 24, 2005 14:17:48 GMT -8
(haha... ) The car was silent for a moment, and then, out of nowhere, John lifted his head and looked over at Matt. Carolyn caught the anger emerging in his eyes. "Hoe can you say that? Do you know what happened today? You think that was supposed to happen?" He didn't give Matt a chance to speak, just barrelled on at full speed. He'd barely said a paragraph in all the time Carolyn had known him. Now... "You say you had everything. Who in their right fucking mind would give that up? What kind of...everything. I wanted it my entire life. People like you are the people that I've been jealous of all my life." Guys didn't admit to jealousy. Especially not guys like John. Carolyn wondered what was going on in his head to make him come out like this, so suddenly. He sounded almost manic. "Cars! Parents! House!" his voice lowered and he looked straight ahead. "You know, I grew up in an apartment in a really dirty downtown part of New Jersey...Cody and I, we lived alone, except for when my Dad decided to come back and catch up on rest. He was always out at a bar or hitting up some whore at some motel on the edge of town. "My Mom, who lost custody of us because she couldn't provide adequately, came back and pulled us into Port Royal. We've been living in some suburban shithole ever since!" He took a breath, his eyes flashing wildly, like he suddenly couldn't control himself. "And you didn't want a chance at 'everything'? I've seen a lot in my life, and I would have given almost anything for that kind of guaranteed future." Carolyn was shocked to see that he was crying. Boys didn't cry. John didn't emote. What was happening? "Cody was all I ever had." He wouldn't look at them. "He was the only constant in my life, and now I don't even have that. If I had great parents...I would never, ever take it for granted. If I had a chance like that, to get somewhere, I'd never miss it." He rubbed his eyes. "Fuck. You don't need to hear all of this. I'm sorry." John didn't apologize. He let people apologize to him. Was it going to be like this forever?
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Post by behindTHEmask on Jan 26, 2005 15:53:40 GMT -8
Matt didn't care about the apology right now. He was being bitched at for his choices. "You know what, John, everything feels like a shit load of nothing when you lose everything that's important. When nothing's there, and you find something that treats you like family, and because of that your best friend dies...Everything seems like a shitload of nothing." Matt blinked, staring at the road, stopping at a red light. "I was was thirteen, remember that. Thirteen. I was going through puberty--I was a wreck. I was always 'different'. I needed a family. So what did this kid who have 'everything' do? I joined a gang. They treated me like I was their brother. They protected me from older kids. It's where I met Jake." Matt didn't normally talk about this. This was beyond perfection. "Jake was like a brother. Besides from Cameron, no one really took their time with me. I mean, I had girls around me, but only because I had the money to entertain them." Matt swallowed, glancing at Carolyn then John. "Jake died two years after I met him, and I swear to God it was all my fault. We were out getting drinks, alcohol I think, and we ran into another gang. They seperated us. I could hear Jake screaming telling me to run, but I couldn't leave him. I was pushed down into the dirt, and I heard a loud gunshot. Then everything when silent." Biting his bottom lip, he sighed. "I've lost two of the only people in my life worth living for. My parent's are never home, so they give me everything figuring it wouldn't matter. Well, let me tell you, money doesn't buy love. So this chance at everything you keep telling me I blew, never really existed. It's all lies. So you want the guarenteed future? Take it. They wouldn't notice if you lived there and I was dead."
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